What started as a love story...

I feel like I don't even belong here. I see pictures of him, I smell his scent in my clothes, and I feel like I shouldn't be anywhere other than where he is. I think I have a problem. It would be an understatement to sit here and say I miss him already. I'm sick without him. I don't want to talk to other people. I feel like no one understands me the way he did.

But he hurt me. He did terrible, terrible things. He didn't have to shout at me the way he did. He shouldn't have been in my bed with her. It was his fault it happened the way it did.

But I want to take it all back. I want to go back to a time when I wasn't who I was. I was just his. He was mine. Everything was perfect. But things got strange. Things always get strange. I was too forgiving. He didn't know how to handle me anymore. So he turned to someone else. And that made it worse.

The stains in the carpet have been there for days. I can't bring myself to get rid of them. They're the only physical things I have of him. I have pictures and memories. I even have the necklace he gave me for our anniversary. But none of those things are actually him. These stains, this blood, came from him. They were a part of him once.

It was his fault it happened. He lied. He hurt me. But I still love him. And I hate myself for what it came to. But he hurt me. So I hurt him back. I show him how much he hurt me.

I haven't moved in three days. They're still in the bed. But he feels so far away. The house is starting to smell. Maybe I should tidy up. Make the house more presentable in case we have company. Somehow, I don't think it would matter to him anyway.

I'm sorry it had to be this way. But he hurt me. You hurt me. More than once. And you thought I didn't know. He thought I was clueless. He thought I was stupid.

The phone has been ringing. I don't want to talk. He can't. He's busy. I can't take the voices anymore. They told me to do it, and I did it. Now they hate me. They said I shouldn't have. Now it's all my fault. No more friends. No more smiles. I have nothing left to love but these stains on the floor.

He put up a fight. He broke my favorite glass. He cut my hand. He tried to reason with me.

Maybe I'll have a bath.

I couldn't make sense of it. But my head wouldn't stop. Then there was a ringing. And it was too loud. I had to stop the voices.

Look at them there. They look peaceful. Sadly peaceful. It didn't have to be this way. I love you. But I can't share. I can't. You hurt me, I had to show you what you did. It wasn't fair. This isn't fair. I messed up. We both messed up. But I was nothing but good to you.

I have to cleanse myself. I don't want your blood on my hands anymore. I'll wash it all away. I'll leave the mess for someone else to clean.